Eva Longoria Goes Temporarily Insane; Forgets That She and Her Boyfriend Aren’t White.

She must have. Otherwise she wouldn’t have allegedly blown a gasket when they got pulled over by a (bicycle!) cop in San Antonio early Saturday. She and her man, San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker, would have known the drill “people of color” typically adhere to when sidelined by the fuzz:

1) shut the f*ck up;
2) have license and registration at the ready;
3) speak only when spoken to;
4) be prepared to offer one’s mate for the officer’s sexual amusement should said officer require sexual amusing (just kidding…sorta);
5) shut the f*ck up

I mean, what, didn’t Eva and Tony see the movie Crash? Per the New York Daily News, Mademoiselle Longoria and Monsieur Parker went absolutely batshit:

The incident happened about 12:45 a.m. Saturday. After seeing a car stopped, a bicycle officer said it was impeding traffic. When the car didn’t move, the officer rapped the hood with the palm of his hand, according to a police report.

Parker, who was behind the wheel, questioned why the officer touched the car, and the couple “began screaming in a verbally abusive and demeaning manner,” police said. Longoria called the police report “highly inaccurate.”

Police say Parker then began to drive away, almost hitting a man standing nearby. After being told to stop and get out, Parker showed a French driver’s license, police said.

The officer who wrote the citations said Parker complained: “This is all the cops do, just mess with people,” and that Longoria shouted from the car: “He’s just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph.”

Longoria denied making the comment.

Of course she did. Who’d admit to something like that? She further defended herself:

“It’s a shame that one officer conducted himself in such an inappropriate and disorderly manner. I never made any sort of racial slurs, let alone made any comments about the officer being Mexican, as a Mexican myself,” Longoria said through her publicist.

Right. Because a Mexican would never hurl a Mexican aspersion at another Mexican. It just wouldn’t happen. People of color don’t break on their own like that. I myself have never used the N word, nor told an ex as I was breaking up with him to keep his black ass away from me. Never. (I really haven’t.)

Somebody needs to tell Eva that tv is not real. Everyone might live in murderously sexual harmony on Wisteria Lane

…but once they leave the studio lot, shit gets real. Real racial. It sucks that it be’s that way, but sometimes, that’s just how it is. Not that the cop got racial on them or anything. He might have, but it sounds like Eva was the one who took it there. This isn’t the first time she’s tripped during the holiday season. She went a little medieval on an unsuspecting parking lot attendant around Thanksgiving, a mere month ago.

Makes you wonder what she’s got up her sleeve for New Year’s. She just might bust a cap in dat ass.

New York Daily News – Parker, Longoria Stopped by Police
Defamer.com: Happy Thanksgiving From Your Favorite Desperate Housewife!

2 thoughts on “Eva Longoria Goes Temporarily Insane; Forgets That She and Her Boyfriend Aren’t White.

  1. >I think this says it ALL about Eva!log·or·rheaVariant: or chiefly British log·or·rhoea /"log-&-'rE-&, "läg-/ Function: noun: pathologically excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness that is characteristic especially of the manic phase of manic-depressive disorders —log·or·rhe·ic or chiefly British log·or·rhoe·ic /-'rE-ik/ adjective

    Like

  2. >I think this says it ALL about Eva!log·or·rheaVariant: or chiefly British log·or·rhoea /"log-&-'rE-&, "läg-/ Function: noun: pathologically excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness that is characteristic especially of the manic phase of manic-depressive disorders —log·or·rhe·ic or chiefly British log·or·rhoe·ic /-'rE-ik/ adjective

    Like

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