Kooky/creepy director Vincent Gallo (famous for getting a real blow job onscreen from actress Chloë Sevigny in his film, The Brown Bunny) is selling his spunk online for a million smackers, but he’s particular about who he’s letting have it. He posted the specifics on his official merchandise website.
“Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions,” Gallo writes. “Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration.”
His site posting continues, “Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.”
So all you black, mulatto, quadroom, and octoroon ladies can spend your cheese elsewhere. There’ll be no Gallo squizzurts for our kind. Because you can’t improve upon perfection. After all, look at what his impeccable white genes have done for him already.