…aka the Suge Knight of Sidesplitting Humor. Not that he’s out there shooting other comedians and hanging them off of balconies and what not.

(Hey, real Suge, if by some freaky fluke you’re reading this, them’s just jokes!! I mean…

…I know you’ve never shot, maimed, or threatened another soul in your life. People underestimate how kind you are. You really oughta get a better PR person. Um, hey, has your name ever been submitted for the Nobel? That might be a good move towards image change. You should get your peeps to look into it. But I digress…)

Back to Cortney Gee. The Cocksman of Comedy. The Lord of the Laugh. The Pimp of Punchlines.

A man so cool, so funny, so smart, so big and scary in appearance when you first meet him, you might make a small squish of doodie in your seat before quickly realizing he’s really a sweet gentle Ben—if he likes you. Cortney’s so awesome, I made him a character in one of my books. He’s Sleazy, the guy who basically saves the day all around, in my fifth novel, Tastes Like Chicken. Sleazy isn’t just based on Cortney, he IS Cortney. Sleazy is actually my nickname for the real Cort. But it’s ‘Sleazy’ in a good way, not some smarmy, ass-chasing, up-to-his-eyeballs in chicks coming through his crib kind of way. No sir. This is the kind of Sleazy you want as your friend, and he’s damn funny, to boot.

You’ve seen him all over the place, in comedy clubs from L.A. to New York and all spots in between. He appeared on HBO’s Def Comedy Jam, has made many, many appearances on BET’s Comic View, and has shared the stage with some of the hottest acts in comedy today, including Steve Harvey, Mark Curry, DL Hughley, Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx. Right now, he’s Cleveland’s reigning King of Comedy (hey, if you’re in Cleveland to begin with, lord knows you need to find a reason to laugh about it). Check him out if you get a chance. If you’re stuck in Cleveland. Or catch him on TV. And you can always peep his website.

He’s majorly good peeps, one of my favorites. He’s the big brother I already had, a wonderful friend, and he comes in real handy for scaring the shit outta guys you want to bacdafucoff (unless it’s him you’re trying to get off your back, in which case, you’re probably fucked…in more ways than one).

Get to know him for yourself. Girls, approach with caution. Cortney and Jamie both graduated from the Celebrity School of Crissy-Popping and Panty-Snatching (okay, so maybe it’s more like Hpnotiq-opening, but the panty-snatching part is still there). The only reason I’ve escaped all these years is because he considers me cute but deceptively-and-dangerously cerebral, which essentially renders me unfuckable. No matter what, you’ll have fun with Cort. The ladies love him…

(No, that is not a photoshopped picture. Janice Dickinson was actually trying to grab his johnson.)

And he’s a real man’s man, so he’s always cool with the fellas.

Check him out. Besides, it’ll do you some good. Everybody needs a little a buncha some Sleazy in their lives.