…but ladies, just in case you’re interested in jumping class, away from all the broke mofos who keep sticking you with everything but what it is you really need, here’s a lil’ something you might wanna check out.

Just for shits and giggles, here’s a screenshot from the website describing the criteria for participating and meeting rich men. (Broke mofos, you can also meet rich women through this site):

So have at it, ladies. Dive into MillionaireMatch.com and find the man of your monetary dreams. Just know going in that, no matter how idyllic things may seem, everything comes at a price. Don’t let the pictures on the website deceive you. All of them show women being laced by men, holding hands walking on the beach, being swept away in wedding gowns on cruise ships, or chilling, like this lady here…

…as her rich man plays golf. That may all be true, but keep in mind the very rich are often the freakiest, kinkiest, how’d-you-come-up-with-that-shit people of all. They can have practically anything (and more than likely they have), so it often takes a lot to excite them. Your new rich man will probably be used to getting whatever he wants, so he might not take too well to you resisting and/or challenging his requests. Like his need to see you suck a squirrel’s nuts (and I don’t mean the ones they store for winter) in order for him to get turned on. But hey, if that’s cool with you, bring on the squirrels!!!

Your man will be happy, the squirrels might be a bit baffled but curiously willing, and you’ll get to shop ’til you drop!!! You’ll be in the finest of clothes, the fanciest of cars, and the poshest of penthouses. You’ll vacation in St. Bart’s (or wherever the very rich go), and winter in Aspen. Your friends may not understand why you bug out a little every time you see a squirrel, but then, your friends are probably women just like you who married rich too, so they’ve probably got their own quirks.

MillionaireMatch.com