(File Under: "Holy What-The-Fuck!!!") – Breaking: UPN And The WB Merge.

I was busy working on two other posts when this shock of a shocker came in via e-mail alert from Variety.com. It’s taken me a little while (just over an hour) to post it because I wanted to have a little fun with Photoshop first.

Per the article:

CBS Corp., Warner Bros. Entertainment and Tribune Co. announced Tuesday they’re shutting down both the struggling WB and UPN and merging the two into a new entity called The CW.

Move will unite shows such as “Everybody Hates Chris,” “Gilmore Girls,” and “Veronica Mars” on one network, distributed by CBS and Tribune-owned stations.

The new fifth network, a 50-50 joint venture between CBS and Time WarnerTime Warner, will be distributed on CBS and Tribune-owned stations, reaching 95% of the country.

I wonder what The CW stands for? I’m betting it’s Coloreds (&) Whites. The Coloreds (&) Whites Television Network. Aw, c’mon, don’t act like I’m the only one who believes knows UPN was suffering from a serious case of hyperpigmentation.

(Just in case you want some clarity on the definition of hyperpigmentation, the Dermatologic Disease Database defines it as “a […] usually harmless condition in which patches of skin become darker in color than the normal surrounding skin.” In this case, I would say that UPN would be the dark patches, and ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, and The WB were the “normal” surrounding skin.)

It should be a decent match. Both netlets have choice demographics. The WB has the much-coveted youth market down pat, and UPN has the ever-so-popular “Black people…they’re just like us!” thing going on. I wonder if they’ll cross-pollinate some of the shows or do mirror versions of them to provide balance. I can’t wait to see The CW’s version of Eve

…which I imagine will be called Dawn (get it?).

Or their version of The WB’s Smallville

Hunglikeahorseland.

Or what I’m sure is destined to become a cross-pollinated runaway hit:

Everybody Hates Reba

(Who the hell was watching Reba anyway? How is that show still on the air? It doesn’t even match The WB’s demographic.)

Let the fun with young and urban demographics begin!!!

Variety: Secret’s out as rivals elope

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4 thoughts on “(File Under: "Holy What-The-Fuck!!!") – Breaking: UPN And The WB Merge.

  1. >hahahahahaha….you are too much!…but you're makin' a lotta sense gurl. curious to see how things play out in the ratings "race" with "our" shows. will those shows of the "lighter" persuasion get mo' marketing to everybody and the "darker" shows to be only marketed to urban/metro markets, just to compete with those of the big four ABC, CBS, NBC & FUX? just like any other merger, either you're competing, bringing something to the table or you're out, using the nielsens or corporate advertising america as excuses. hmmm…could this be a coup to phase out "black t.v" for the long run? or maybe like fux did with "ny undercover" get everyone to buy in on the deal, then cut the show loose, leaving the advertisers to want something to spend "their" money on. hey, let's ask dave chappelle!

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  2. >ROFL!!! Touche', Lance. Now that's some funny shit. On the real, tho', you might be right. This is certainly a wait-and-see scenario that needs to be watched quite closely. It'll be interesting to see if it becomes a nice mulatto balance, or if the show goes straight octoroon.

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