Kudos to Lo Zone reader J., who offered up a banging explanation of what happened to the shot-up Prius I spotted last Friday so unassumingly parked on Ventura Boulevard in Encino.
Herewith, J.’s most excellent analysis:
Some asshole guy in an asshole job (investment banker, advertising exec… whatever) falls in love with a hippie barista named Lila at the Starbucks he goes to every morning. She moves in, they’re in love, he buys vegan pseudoburgers and takes yoga and buys a Prius. She sleeps with the cashier at Barnes and Noble. In a fit of anti-environmentalist (and anti-Lila) rage, he parks the car in front of the store and shoots it full of holes, then goes to purchase the vehicle with the worst gas mileage he can find so he can finally go back to McDonalds.
Bravura, J.!!! This was great. It had all the requisite Hollywood elements (opposites attracting, love, the instant relationship, betrayal, and revenge). We salute you for being bold enough to step out of the shadows and help us understand the madness that is human interaction in L.A. This is why people are so isolated here. Mingling can be scary. If a Prius driver can’t escape the wrath, what makes you think that you will?
Sooner or later, all roads in L.A. lead to a shot-up car. But if you’re gonna rock holes, just make sure you’re pretty with it.
(If anyone else wants to offer a clever spin on the “Who Shot Ya” mystery that is our hole-riddled Encino Prius—let’s dub him The Notorious P.R.I.—feel free to chime in.)