Ooh Baby, I’m A Star!!! (Might Not Know It Now…Baby, But I R!!!)

That’s right, I said it. I’m a star. A friggin’ rock star.

Why, you might ask? Because I’ve been immortalized, baby. Fa sho’. One of my favorite artists ever, Prince

…has a song on his new cd, 3121, called what?


Yeah. That’s right. There it is, circled in red.

Lolita on 3121

And it’s mad funky, too. Feels like the hot stuff he used to rock back in the day. Don’t think I’m not gonna wear that puppy into the ground.

So guess what? That makes me a triple threat, as my dear, dear friend, the super duper, fan-friggin’-tastic Bubby Eric Jerome Dickey

…pointed out. (Both he and another one of my most excellent, longtime friends, Troy R. Mathis, each alerted me to the song yesterday). Bubs Eric made me realize that I’ve got a book named after me, a movie, and now a song!!!

Last year, O Magazine ranked the novel Lolita as the number one book on their list of five books everyone should read at least once.

The book also happens to have one of the best opening paragraphs ever:

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

I said, hot damn!!! (Don’t think I haven’t exploited the hell out of that phrase in my lifetime. What? Wouldn’t you?)

The movie Lolita (the first version)…

…was done by one of the greatest directors of all time (Stanley Kubrick), and starred one of the greatest actors ever (Peter Sellers…heck, James Mason too, for that matter; and Shelley Winters!!). And now there’s a song by Prince.

PRINCE, for crying out loud!!!

(The only thing that kinda messes up my Big Three streak regarding Lolitas is that itty-bitty incident in the early nineties regarding that girl, that gun, that man’s wife, and her face.)

Bubby Eric even wrote me a totally cool poem in blank verse:

lo has a gun and will use it
prince will sang about her
and older men will shoot other older men
have a one-sided gunfight for her honor

I got a po-em!! I got a po-em!!

(Doing the Eddie MurphyI got some ice cream and you ain’t got none” dance.)

Sorry, people. I’m just feeling myself a little bit today. I got a song named after me!!! Come on…let me revel in my delusional moment for just a few minutes.



I got a po-em!! I got a so-ong!! I got a boo-ook!! I got a moo-vie!!

4 thoughts on “Ooh Baby, I’m A Star!!! (Might Not Know It Now…Baby, But I R!!!)

  1. >Hey if I had a song named after me written by the one and only man of a symbol…I'd have used my bragging rights too, but hey I did meet him back in 1999 in a club called the Church (imagine that) That club was really strange partying in a club seemed a bit sacreligious…anyway as he was leaving out the back door to get in his limo I was walking to the car…Hell Yeah!!!!…he even said hello.Congrats on your song..lol


  2. >wow lo…things are lookin' up! uP! UP!congrats gal!i know how you feel. only thing i got reckunized fo' is some cheese crackers….lance nabs.it's a down south thing, fo sho!


  3. >In the words of the ever-lyrical Tupac Shakur — I AIN'T MAD AT JAI can hear the lead in for the piece on Entertainment Tonight:In his follow-up to "Call My Name" where Prince confessed that he just couldn't stop writing songs about his mystery woman because he loved her so much, he decides to tell the world who she is on his 3121 release. He has called her name and her name is "Lolita."Sources close to his royalness won't confirm or deny that the Lolita in question is none other than Divalicious novelist Lolita Files. Ms. Files was not available by air time for comment but her publicists at team Amistad said, "Well, her newest book is Sex. Lies. Murder. Fame. and while I do not comment on my authors' personal lives, come on, Sex. Lies. Murder. Fame. has Prince written all over. You didnt' hear from me, but ask Prince about his "nutbread" recipe."Lo Lo Loverly, you go girl.(lihvwhg)


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