Dunzo, Hip-Hop Style!!!

See, everybody ain’t able to stand all that Fabulosity.

A man can take but so much scenery chewing before he says, “Enough.”

People magazine confirms today that Kimora Lee Simmons and her hubby—big baller, hip-hop innovator, clothing line groundbreaker, yoga fiendRussell Simmons, have officially split.

Per the article:

Rap mogul Russell Simmons and his wife Kimora Lee Simmons are splitting, a rep for Kimora confirms to PEOPLE. An announcement is expected later today.

A spokesperson for Russell had no comment.

Russell, 48, and Kimora, 30, married in 1998 and have two daughters: Ming Lee Simmons, 6, and Aoki Lee Simmons, 3. Both girls model for Baby Phat Clothing, Kimora’s offshoot of her husband’s Phat Farm clothing line.

Love this part:

The pair met in November 1992 during New York City’s Fashion Week. She was 17 and about to finish high school; he was 35 and a self-admitted ladies man.

“I was skeptical,” model Tyra Banks told PEOPLE in 2002 of her initial reaction to the relationship. But, she said: “She turned the man about town into a loving husband and papa.”

I thought I heard the death knell after reading last year’s article in Vanity Fair. You know, the one where Kimora said such choice things as:

“I will beat a bitch’s ass!” Kimora says of any woman who dares flirt with her husband, the famous Russell, a hip-hop icon for 25 years.

[…]And yet that doesn’t keep “the bitches,” as Kimora calls them, from trying to make moves.

“Women come up to him all the time,” she complains. “Women are unruly and just ridiculous. Like knowing full well that you are married and you have a life and you have a family, and they want to flirt and rub their booty in your face.… I just don’t think shit about men in general,” she says.

That Vanity Fair piece was chockful of blingariffic goodness, to wit:

“The bitches” have been a constant theme in Russell and Kimora’s 12-year relationship. They’re how Russell and Kimora got engaged, which Kimora tells me about on St. Barth’s, on the beach, where she’s lying naked except for a pair of Armani sunglasses and a Gucci bikini bottom. “Let me take off my glasses,” she says, removing her large frames. “I want you to see my eyes. I will beat a bitch’s ass!”

And only minutes before their wedding, which took place on St. Barth’s in 1998, Kimora says, one of these women stole her bridal shoes, hiding them in some grass, she thinks. “Stole my Manolos.… Because they wanted Russell. And they couldn’t take it. Have him if you want him!” she jokes.

Well, obviously someone took her up on that, because Russell already has a new girl, Denise Vasi:

But, back to that Vanity Fair article. Here’s some more clever bits:

“Oooooh,” she says, running long fingers over her new Louis Vuitton bag. Kimora gets very intense when handling or discussing handbags or diamonds. Or shoes.

“Look.” She opens a heavy brown shoe box to show me the shiny brown stilettos she’s also buying tonight. “I thought about buying them, but then I didn’t, and they kept them for me,” she says quickly, reverently stroking a shoe as a smiling French saleswoman looks on. Kimora is said to have the largest collection of Louis Vuitton in the world.

Lovely, no? Keep reading…

“I stay out of the fur conversation,” says Kimora. “I wear fur and if somebody throws shit on me I’m gonna whup your ass! I wish somebody would throw shit on me.”

Delish. But wait, there’s more!!! (Sixteen pages worth, actually, or something like that).

The two men strolling behind us are often with Kimora: BJ Coleman, the publicist for Baby Phat, who’s carrying Kimora’s four-foot-long Louis Vuitton shopping bag, and Jack McCue, her lawyer and manager, who was carrying her daughter Ming Lee.

Wonder if that’s how those two men saw themselves ending up when they imagined their futures. Okay, just a little bit more (really…it totally makes the divorce make so much sense):

For a while after they were married, in 1998, she tried to “do the trophy-wife thing,” she says. But she couldn’t stand it. And then, in 1999, Russell started Baby Phat and made Kimora its creative director.

At one point during this interview, some shopping takes place. Observe, if you will…

“Oooooh.” Kimora’s running her hands over a shiny Birkin carry-on bag.

“I’ll buy it,” says Brett Ratner, the burly movie director, who’s also come in the store. (He’s a longtime friend of Russell’s, and staying at Russell and Kimora’s villa here in St. Barth’s.) “How much?” he asks.

“If you have to ask, get out of the store!” says Kimora, waving him away.

“Honey,” says Russell, sounding like he’s going to object.

“Hon-neeeee,” says Kimora, lightly mocking his tone.

“I have a great idea for a store,” Russell says, loud. “It’s called Kimora’s Closet. It’s for charity. It’s full of all the things Kimora has that she doesn’t need and all the money goes to charity…”

Kimora doesn’t say anything.

“Come on, how much?” says Ratner.

“Look it up in the catalogue!” Kimora says.

The bag costs $150,000.

Russell shakes his head.

“One day,” he tells me, “Kimora’s going to wake up and go, ‘Ohhhh.'”

I’m not sure what he means. “You mean, like, ‘Oh, I don’t need all this stuff’?”

Russell shrugs.

“I’m going back to the house,” he tells his wife.

Sounds like he was already mentally leaving then, if not gone. Okay, here’s the last part I’m going to put, then you’ll have to read the rest on your own, if you haven’t already.

“I refuse to talk about Russell,” Kimora says. “Everyone knows Russell.”

“Russell is a very, very nice guy,” she says finally. “He is growing into himself spiritually, like with this whole yoga thing. He looks the best that he’s ever looked. I mean, there are pictures of Russell I’ll show you from 20 years ago and he looks like shit, in terms of just, like, bad skin, pimples, fat gut sagging.

*Sigh* Black love…sometimes you just gotta chew your own leg off to get out of the trap.

Better a lost limb than a lost life, is what I say.

People.com: Russell, Kimora Lee Simmons Split
Vanity Fair.com: Roundtable: The Phat Life
Previously: The Lo Zone: Buy This Book, Or She’ll Beat A Bitch’s Ass!!!

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