Page Six Is The New Mafia. Seriously.

Apparently. Seems people are so afraid of being attacked by what has arguably been considered one of the most powerful gossip columns in the world, they’ve been ponying up money to ensure their protection.

Those of you who have read my new book, Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame. (and those of you who haven’t, how can I ever afford those banging red shoes unless you show me some love?) know that I mention Page Six several times in the story.

The scandalous gossip column is a constant presence that terrorizes and ridicules the characters whenever things go awry. (At one point, they refer to my character Beryl’s face as “the ultimate contraceptive.”)

Needless to say, Page Six is both much-hated and much-read. Some shameless fame seekers even find ways to deliberately cause a ruckus just so they can make the column. The Sixies even wrote about me writing about them (so meta, I love it!!!) shortly after my new book dropped. Of course they took at dig at me in the process, which was way funny and way expected because that’s just how they get down.

MeInPageSix

Well, news breaks today that The Sixies (or, at the very least, one of their highest profile writers) have been EXTORTING MONEY in order to guarantee someone not being written about. Okayyyyyyyyy??? WTF????? And to make matters worse (for the The Sixies), the news was on the front page of The New York Post’s (where Page Six appears) mortal enemyThe New York Daily News. Half the fun of these papers are the ridiculous and/or clever headlines they come up with for outrageous breaking news. Here’s how The New York Daily News jumped on this mess. First they made a graphic with a fake Post header:

JaredBust

Okay, how funny is that? And this was the cover of the paper:

JaredScandalDNCover

Per the article:

A New York Post Page Six staffer solicited $220,000 from a high-profile billionaire in return for a year’s “protection” against inaccurate and unflattering items about him in the gossip page, the Daily News has learned.

In two 90-minute meetings, characterized by a shocking breach of ethics, Jared Paul Stern, a fixture on the city’s gossip scene who also edited Page Six The Magazine, asked for a series of payments from Ron Burkle, the managing partner of Yucaipa Cos., a conglomerate with interests in supermarkets, celebrity clothing lines, and media.

It was all a setup, a sting monitored by law enforcement, including the U.S. attorney’s office and the FBI, who are now investigating the extortion attempt. The meetings, on March 22 and March 31, were videotaped.

The shakedown began with a series of e-mails sent last month by Stern to Burkle.

[…]

An exasperated Burkle finally said, “How much do you want?” after Stern said he could control coverage by Richard Johnson, the column’s chief writer, and his staff. “Um, $100,000 to get going and then you could get it to me on a month-to-month, maybe like $10,000,” replied Stern.

“Okay, that’s a great deal,” said Burkle, the subject of numerous Page Six items including a “date” with supermodel Gisele Bundchen, meetings with other women and a nasty breakup with a longtime lover.

Dayum!!! This is totally insane (yet credible)!!! See, this totally supports my theory that gossip columns, celebrity mags, and the whole world that surrounds the famous and would-be famous is just made up of a bunch of sick fucks who desperately want to be famous themselves.

All that to say, if you really want to understand this world and the lunatic people in it, you should read my new book.

(Like how I turned their disaster into my capitalistic book op? Yep. I’m totally trying to get those red shoes.)

New York Daily News: The billionaire, the Post and the $220G shakedown
Previously: The Lo Zone: Sex.Lies.Murder.Fame. In Page Six This Weekend!!!

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12 thoughts on “Page Six Is The New Mafia. Seriously.

  1. >stern is toast….the billionaire played his cards right to get back at the post, using him as a pawn. just when you think you're the shit, (stern) you get shitted on!

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  2. >hold up…stop the presses!!!is it me or does kimora lee looks like "petunia pig"?, porky pig's girlfriend from the looney tunes…;-Pc'mon lo….keep it real. doesn't she look like her? tell ya what, google: petunia pig …and you tell me!….hahahahaha!!!!!

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  3. >Thank you, Alexinwonderland!! I tries to be on the cutting edge whenever I can.And Lance… I will always contend, without a shred of malice or ill intent, that Kimora Lee looks like her neck's made out of a pack of hot dogs. I'll never understand how a woman that tall and skinny can have such a roly-poly Michelin Man neck. What gives with that?

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  4. >"I'll never understand how a woman that tall and skinny can have such a roly-poly Michelin Man neck. What gives with that?" – Loi don't know babycakes. but i's sho' in hell, ain't gonna try to find out. good luck russell!!!!

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  5. >Lolita Files is a gifted and skillful writer. Her imagination is off the scale. COLOSSAL!I am taken back a bit by her insipid cheap shots on the Lo Zone Blog…Damn! girl you got a mind thats bigger than all that back bitin talkin bout folk BS that you puttin down.I bet folks don't even know how "BAD" you really are and that you wrote the first book "SCENES FROM A SISTAH" in less than a week.So, you see with that kind of get up and get it…one would think that you would delve in deeper water.Shallow does not become you. Unless you got a big TV/Cable deal and they want to pay you seven figures for your insipid two cents.I am a devoted fan and varacious reader of Lolita Files…Spend more time on stretching like you did with the prize deserving "A CHILD OF GOD"…Peace My Sistah…you got it going on. PS I respect the 1st ammendment/ so I respect you got the right.

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  6. >Welcome to my blog, realityspeaks!!! I am so happy to see you posting messages. We love seeing more interaction on the boards.Infinite thanks for the immense praise for my work and my creative potential. Wow. Thank you for your confidence. That really means a lot, and I'm being very serious about that.As for me and the cheap shots I take in some of my blog posts…well, yeah. You got me. But that's part of the reason for the existence for this blog. It's many things, one of which is a running commentary on the world of pop culture. I try to make my comments in a surface way, general fun-poking, because I've always been an observer of the overall Cult of Pop Culture Personality. I come from a long, long line of people who had excellent comic timing and were skilled when it came to witty repartee, so we were always taking humorous jabs at one another. On the one hand, it made me kinda sensitive to jabs. On the other hand, it thickened my skin.I won't lie to you and say I won't have fun and make sport of some of the things going on in the world of pop culture. That's just as much me as some of the deep material I write. That is the yin and yang of my persona.I will tell you, however, that I will not cruelly attack someone who is obviously going through it and is genuinely in need of help. The celebs and situations you see me joke about on this blog are people who keep seeking the limelight and showing the f*ck out in the process like they want us to talk about what straight fools they are. In that case, I'll happily oblige. One of the secondary benefits is that it keeps my wit sharpened.We welcome a variety of topics here. Sounds like you might be able to offer some deep discussion for us. Please bring it. I have nothing but love and respect for those who want to share and help raise things to another level!!

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  7. >Lo, you knows I know you. From years of following your career and getting to know you I don't think there is anyone who extolls the wealth of knowledge you possess and share (maybe, except for EJD). That said . . . actually, I'll leave it like that. You handle yours so I don't have to weigh in, but KNOWS I GOT YOUR BACK.Is Liz Smith still around? If there is such a thing as good dirt, when she was doing most of the reporting it was a higher quality dish.I saw the dig on your book and I must say the writer of that piece has either 1) never seen All About Eve, or 2) certainly only read liner notes for your book. Either way, their comments were STUPID!Remember, I GOTS YOUR BACK!

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  8. >Thank you, Juan!! You are so awesome. I've known you a long time, and yes, you've always had my back, always been supportive, and I totally appreciate that.Liz Smith is still around. Her column runs daily in the New York Post. She has one and so does Cindy Adams. And you're right, Liz always had a better quality of dish. It's a no-holds-barred jungle out there now. Everything but yo-mama jokes when it comes to reporting gossip.Whoever wrote that Page Six item on me definitely never read my book or saw "All About Eve," because there's no connection. Penn's relationship to Beryl or Shar was nothing like Eve Harrington's relationship to Margo. It was such a wrong parallel for the writer of that piece to make, which is one of the reasons why it amused me so.So glad I know you, Juan. So glad you're a part of The Lo Zone. Love, love, love, love, love you man.Mmmmmuuuuuuuuah!!!

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