They don’t wanna be touched, alright? They just wanna chill and eat their straw without any disruptions. Sheesh.
Keep your distance. Avoid eye contact. And even if it looks cute, never hug a Swiss cow.
Responding to numerous “reports of unpleasant meetings between hikers and cattle” along Switzerland’s picture-perfect Alpine trails this summer, the Swiss Hiking Federation has laid down a few ground rules.
“Leave the animals in peace and do not touch them. Never caress a calf,” the group’s guidance, posted on the website http://www.swisshiking.ch, reads.
“Do not scare the animals or look them directly in the eye. Do not wave sticks. […]
First off, who the hell is hugging cows? And waving sticks (!!!)? These can’t be black people. I know that for a fact. We don’t just roll up on animals that we’re not trying to eat. [See my shark post from late last year.]
I feel you, Swiss cows. Just because you look all nice and friendly doesn’t mean you want to be petted. I hate it when I’m just minding my own business grazing and someone rolls up and starts stroking me.
Well, sometimes I hate it.
Okay, I don’t hate it at all. Bring it on, strokers!!!*
*Touch me without asking and I’ll make those Swiss cows seem like pet rabbits in comparison…okay?