19 thoughts on “>If This Is Really True, Then It’s Really Pathetic.

  1. >I don't think most women want a man (for marriage, that is) less educated, less earning or less attractive than herself. I know far too many educated women who go to bed alone nightly. Strangely, these women, most in their late 30's, early 40's, are still on the lookout for Prince Charming. Good luck to them. Men aren't so choosy. Big tits? Let's go to Vegas. What, you like to give head? Where do I sign?My best friend and I have spoken at length about women and relationships and one thing that keeps popping up is the fact that when women are young and vivacious they have their pick of partners. Just about any girl in her twenties can go into a nightclub and get laid that night. Not so for men. Somehow, these women are mistakenly under the assumption that this power is life long only to find that they can't reel in Otis the town drunk when they hit their forties and fifties.

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  2. >"Otis the town drunk" . . . Matt you're off the chain this morning but on point (did I just agree with Matt).To quote Oprah's godmomma, "Only equals can be friends" and as I tell my kids and anyone who will listen that any relationship that has a chance to survive MUST be based on friendship. On the flip side I told my daughter (and I speak very openly to her) that if you run across some good dick just recognize it for what it is … good dick. That don't mean you supposed to marry him or have a baby for/with him. Shit you ain't even got to love him but when you wanna get your freak on call the mofo up.It's no surprise that my children think I am insane. Their friends think I am the shit but they think I am twisted.

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  3. >Double Standards are a bitch.I had to learn on my own that I had to take good dick at "face value." That lesson had to be learned by getting my heart broken one too many times. Im really an educated woman. I just play silly in the Zone. My intrest level is piqued when a fella is looking in my eyes and their first question isn't what is your cup size. A man doesn't have to have a Ph.d to hold a conversation with me, but has to at least have an opinion of his own. In marriage, we need to have something to talk about because to me children are temporary. IMO when the parenting is done to the best of ones ability, the child can be independent by the age of 18. The job of a mother is never complete. However, the teaching and raising is finished. Their choices have consequences. Now don't get me wrong. I wouldnt let my child starve or be homeless.But if that mugg wants to hit people with their football helmet during a Miami game then thats on them. After all that raising of children its then I will have time to spend with my husband again. We should have more to talk about other than the state of affairs of our children. In my twenties I didn't need to have the guy on campus with the flyest car…cause shit, he was strugglin' just like me. Now its diffrent. Otis is lookin pretty good right about now.

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  4. >Like my mom used to say when I was a kid, “the good have to suffer with the bad”, what that means in this case is that while I know there are some good catches out there, the overwhelming consensus is that smarter women do finish last, but is it because they are smart or just too smart for their own good? I’m not sure myself, the jury is still out on that one, but I will tell you what I do know. Income disparities play a huge part in this equation. I don’t think most men have a problem with their woman having money or intellect, but it becomes a problem down the road if he hasn’t fully asserted himself within his industry, and at that point his woman becomes a constant reminder that he is behind the eight ball. I think women approach this from the angle that the money isn’t a big deal. They just want a man that loves them, cherishes them and who they can lean on. What women fail to realize, on some level, is that men are designed to be leaders, period. Granted some men don’t step up, but the real men want to be “the man”, and that means the total package. It’s hard to do that when “our money” is mostly money that she brought to the table. It’s even worse when he knows his money can’t even put a dent into the lifestyle that you all enjoy. He may not say anything, but he probably feels like a little boy in the relationship. This may be a gross exaggeration, but it’s real. On top of that, SOME women in these positions put leashes on their men when it comes to spending or they throw their education and/or money in the man’s face during an argument. Rather than deal with that, most men just avoid it all together. Now, as for my sisters here on the Lo Zone, you all will just have to be patient. Brothers are being blocked at every angle and D. Whitman (D White Man) is more than happy to give you sisters a leg up over us. So, until your Prince Charming either comes to grips with his own manhood and realize that money doesn’t make him who he is, you might have to hook up with a “Jerome” (see the Martin show) who could care less about your intelligence or bank account. I know there are other sides to this, but this is my contribution. Peace.

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  5. >Why is it that men automatically assume that a woman wont let a man be the man in the household. They automatically think just because I make more money than they do that when the opportunity arises I would make him feel less than human?Its a sad state of affairs if Im not even given an opportunity to be the woman that I know I can be in a relationship when the Kenneth Cole suit Im wearing to work is blocking a potential relationship. I dont want Prince Charming (he would be cool, but enough with the expectations) I just want a flippin date.

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  6. >Men talk about wanting to be leaders but if their emotions are so damn fragile they can't even handle their woman being successful in her career, how they hell can they lead anybody? Somebody that fragile and weak would probably fold when it came time to have to protect his woman and the family. I'm sick of all these weak asses excuses from all these wack weak ass men who let their egos get in the way. Real men are proud of who they are and step up willing to do the best they can regardless of the size of their wallets. They don't run off in shame or act like crybabies when they meet a woman who has more change than them. This ain't the stone age. Women make money and sometimes they make more than you. Get over it and get a damn spine. You can still lead a family without a fistful of dollars in your hand to show the world how 'BIG' you supposably are.

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  7. >Amen! Rich's whole shpeil (sp?) about men feeling like 'little boys' because their career hasn't taken off the same way as their woman is a bunch of egotistical bullshit. No disrespect man, but seriously, come on. The woman usually isn't even thinking about that in most instances, that's just some shit the man has put on himself. Men like that ARE little boys and aren't much good for a woman in the first place. Their egos will always get in the way at some point in a relationship with a woman. One minute it might be about her career and her making too much money. The next it'll be because she talks to her friends or family too much. Or because she's gained a couple extra pounds. Or the house isn't as neat as he'd like. Her hair's too short or too long for someone her age. Something. Men like this are punks in my opinion. I know cats like this. I'm a man and a few of them are my friends. For the record, I let them know to their faces that they are punks.My wife and I have gone through periods where she's made more and I've made more. My ego isn't squashed by her success, because her success is our success just as mine is also for our whole family unit. There are a lot of men still in that stone age that was mentioned who want it both ways–they want a smart, intellectual woman to sport to their friends but they resent her when she thrives. It's all a bunch of bullshit. We as men need to know who we are first before we resent somebody else for their accomplishments when all they're trying to do is love us and accept us as we are.

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  8. >I feel you “anonymous”, but perception is reality for people. I have friends who are in this boat and some manage it and others don’t. I agree, it depends on the dude. I could handle a woman of Oprah status now myself, but back in my twenty’s, I’m not so sure, it was early in my career and I was coming into the man that I am today, so ego was important then, because when you are broke and trying to make it, sometimes all you have is your “swagger”. I’m not rolling in as much dough as I would like now, but I’m just a more mature man, so some things just don’t bother me or matter as much as they did in years gone by. On the flipside, I have a female relative who has a PHD and as soon as she gets mad at her husband, she reminds him that he can hit the bricks because it’s her dollars that REALLY make it happen. I know that’s one example out of the millions of other possible scenarios, but it is her husband’s reality. I’m also inclined to think that it’s not an isolated incident. I also think she’s crazy for ego tripping on him like that, and he’s crazy for taking it. Here's something to ponder. More and more today you find that women (educated or not) just don’t want to follow the man’s lead, because the landscape is changing for them educationally and economically, they want too much control at home, or they just do what the hell they want, because they don’t need his leadership, but that’s a whole other bag of apples altogether. But keep the comments coming; maybe someone will get enlightened here today.

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  9. >I guess it all depends on the woman/man combination in the particular relationship. When I was 12 I met a newly married couple that moved into our neighborhood. I always thought he was the coolest because he was on the event horizon of computers and taught me all that stuff. And video editing. And how to smoke a cigar and drink a beer. How did he do all this stuff? The guy never worked in his life. His wife made a ton of money and I'm good friends with them still to this day. He still doesn't work. She's happy with it. He's happy with it. He raised the kids at home and never had a care in the world about proving himself to anyone. I thought that was just great.

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  10. >It would seem that the foundation of ones purpose for existence, as well the basis upon which one decides to take action of any kind, is their belief system. And beliefs are as exclusive and individual as beauty in the eye of the beholder. So, in TRUTH there is no absolute RIGHT or WRONG. There IS ONLY right for YOU and wrong FOR YOU! It seems that primary purpose of everything in existence seems to serve the SURVIVAL of existence as a whole.So, I BELIEVE…uh..me..um…myself that based on that observation, any BELIEF SYSTEM, and ACTIONS taken based on that system……that are OUT OF SYNC WITH SURVIVAL……should be questioned.;)(because really what would be the purpose of that?:)GOD is LO-zone. 111

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  11. >mmm, well, I think I take the prize on income differences. My children's mother has probably $15 less than God and was pretty much like that when we met. I think we got closer when she realized I wasn't impressed with her money. She had a RR Corniche that she was selling. I went to pick up the check and brought it to her. We're talking 1985 and the check was approximately $65K. She was a little gleeful about the check and questioned why I wasn't excited. I responded that I couldn't get excited about something that wasn't mine but that I was happy that she had made the transaction.I suppose in a way I suffered from the "big daddy" syndrome wherein because I wasn't needed to provide for the family I felt "less than." Men are basically programmed to be the bread winners and protectors.For whatever the multiple reasons we didn't stay together, the fact that I never ever asked her for anything is the main reason we are still best friends (even after a second marriage).I still have access to all of her accounts and information and what's interesting is that most months she owes me money.A couple of years ago she purchased me a MB CL500. The car sat in her driveway for two weeks before I went to pick it up. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate it but my maleness had a difficult time accepting such an expensive gift from a friend (Lo, it's sort of like those Gucci boots). I got over it eventually but I still have a difficult time accepting things from her.But after 22 years, I finally realized that the value I bring to her life is not how much money I have but the fact that she knows that there is someone who unconditionally has her back and with whom she has to wear no face other than her own. In essence what I have provided money can't buy and I suppose that makes me rich beyond measure.

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  12. >Imaximize Productions, STTS Publishing and Hue-Man Bookstore Present the Exclusive Singles Night Preview of the NEW controversial and hysterical relationship guide book by film, television and stage star Mel Jackson! Keeping the Kitty 11 Things Women Won't Admit(but absolutely want you to know!)You've seen him in Soul Food, Deliver Us From Eva,Living Single, Uninvited Guest, The Parkers, Friendsand Lovers and Love on Layaway! Now come see him perform his new book LIVE TOMORROW!! > NO COVER! FREE DRINKS AND PRIZES!!Tomorrow 6-9PM > Friday, October 20, 2006> Hue-Man Bookstore & Cafe> 2319 Frederick Douglass Blvd > (btwn 124/125th St., Harlem NYC) http://huemanbookstore.com/NASApp/store/IndexJsp?s=storepicks&page=283278http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/v/2004298918745054199www.MelJacksonOnline.comwww.myspace.com/IAMENUS

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