>Do Ask, Do Tell.

>Fellas…or ladies (if you be so inclined)…if one of your ex-girlfriends that you were still on good terms with asked you for an honest assessment of what her peeper looked like, would you tell her?

Being friends with your exes is generally not encouraged, but it can result in worthy elucidations of your character. Or your genitals.

I need you to tell me what my vagina looks like,” I instant message my most significant and trusted ex-boyfriend.

His reply blinks on my screen a few seconds later: “Uhhh . . . like a beautiful flower?

“Less gay,” I implore.

“A carburetor,” he deadpans, doubtlessly tittering over the slope of whichever bong is obscuring his computer screen.

And then he adds:

If this is about, ‘Do I need a labiaplasty?’ . . . the answer is no.

This exchange doesn’t say anything about my ex-boyfriend’s extra-sensory awareness of what I happen to be researching at any given time for any given story. No, it underscores the fact that suddenly—very suddenly—labiaplasty and other so-called “vaginal rejuvenation” surgeries have shown up on the list of Things People Actually Do.

Yup. And women are doing it with greater frequency than you might think. As the demand for revitalized snappers goes up, so does the incidence of specialists who can help give you one.

Take this guy, for instance.

His name is Red M. Alinsod, M.D., FACOG, FACS, ACGE (<==lotta credentials there, Red). And if your cooter’s tor’ up from the floor up, he’ll happily help you fix it. Isn’t that nice of him? Here’s what he’ll do:

First, the labiaplasty.

Labiaplasty recontours mostly the labia minora, the smaller lips, to make the vagina more appealing in the way it looks and more comfortable in its function,” he explains. “It also encompasses the surgery for the labia majora, the larger lips. That surgery is done when the lady has excess skin, or baggy or loose skin of the labia majora, and it is unappealing to the lady.”

Next, the vaginoplasty.

Vaginoplasty narrows the diameter of the vagina and reconstructs the floor of the vagina,” says Dr. Alinsod, “so that a wide-open vagina can become tighter and create more friction for a woman when she’s having sexual relations. Vaginoplasty is a modification of a standard gynecological surgery called a posterior repair, which is a surgery to fix a defect in the floor of the vagina from a bulge, usually from the rectum, which is like a hernia in the vagina.”

There you have it. You can trade those elephant ears you’ve got for cooter lips for something less flappy, and you can get your tunnel tightened, to boot. Old peepers can become new peepers. Even grannies can get all brand-new.

Click HERE if you want to see some BEFORE AND AFTER pics of new peeps.

What a country!!! What a world!!!

Orange County Weekly: Yes, Vagina, There is a Santa Claus

9 thoughts on “>Do Ask, Do Tell.

  1. >mmm, I skipped the before and afters but I've always said pussy ain't pretty. This takes vanity to another level though I do wonder what tightening does if the lady has children later.

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  2. >whoa… i really needed to have gotten up, walked around, had some tea and started my morning before i read this one.plastic surgery has gone waaaaaaay too far. and i think these doctors crossed the line of ethical a long time ago. i'm sorry but they are catering to the insecurities people (women in particular) have and are allowing all of these emotional retards and vain fucks to do some reeeeeeally dumb shit.i think i'm going to have my knees done today. and while i'm there, maybe i'll have the doctor shape my peeper into a georgia o'keeffe.omg!

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  3. >Well, I looked at the pictures, and those cunts needed work. LOL!Seriously, I've never seen a pussy that I didn't like. I might not have liked who the pussy was attached to, but the goods themselves were all good. Now, I will say, some of y'all female types need a good barber down there every now and then, so as to get your fade on and what not.

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  4. >woa!! warn me before throwing coochie in my face. Vaginoplasty's – I recall talking about this procedure a while back. I was shocked to find that they actually had a procedure to put the bottom back in. I guess it's not totally a bad thing if the old kegel muscles have given out or if the woman is doing it because she wants to feel good about herself. It would be a different matter if a guy came home and said "We need to do something about that pussy of yours, I'm just not "feeling" it any more." As looks go though, I'd have to agree with "the man with balls", I haven't seen an ugly one yet. Maybe a nappy one, but not an ugly one.

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  5. >Sheletha,I was thinking the same thing. This 'Man with balls' guy is my type of dude.I'll skip commenting on the vaginoplasty–it's a procedure I can not even begin to fathom. Ladies, a good bikini wax does wonders for your sex appeal.

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  6. >as i woke up, LATE this morning…i turn on my 'puter and what do i see staring me in the face?PUSSY!wow, it's gonna be a great day! woo-hoo!!!!i guess it's a woman's thing about the pussy surgery, you kno' i'm sure it's about reconstruction after having a baby, moreso than "johnny big dick" roaming thru the forest.like i've said before, ladies work dem kegel muscles (fellas too, yo dick ain't gonna be 20-something forever) and exercise. but that's an "internal" issue. as far as looks, fellas ain't gon' be looking at it much anyway. it's either gon' be yo' mouf or yo' dick that's on the scene the most. if you look at it "too" much, she's gonna feel insecure and you would be "fuckin'" up the whole vibe. but if, i gotta look….i look at it like a cooked steak: i like it basically well done. if her pussy insides look like my steak…i'm a vegetarian. but, if it look like my bubble gum…pink, it's a beautiful thing. shaved is good, makes it easier to find the clit, but for those that don't shave…i wanna go to the motherland, but damn….

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  7. >An Ethiopian friend of mine is a nurse here in Los Angeles. She's a nurse at a plastic surgeon's office. She used to tell me stories…well, similiar to this one and that most of the women that come in for this procedure are Asian woman who happen to be married to men with small bits. So, in effect, they're doing it to please their husband.I once dated a woman in Arkansas whose ex-husband was a physician. After our first sexual experience I was amazed at the tightness but didn't want to say anything that might make her uncomfortable. She turned to me and said, "tight, wasn't it?" to which I replied, "will you marry me?" Okay, I didn't say that but I was elated to discuss it with her. Seems her ex-hubby delievered their only child and he performed the tissue repair on her nookie and put a couple of extra stitches in for himself. I sent him a bottle of Dom Perignon that week.

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