I Wonder What Would Happen If You Kissed It?

This must be “Really creepy creatures come out of the woodwork” Week…

An environmental group said Tuesday it had captured a “monster” toad the size of a small dog.

With a body the size of a football and weighing nearly 2 pounds, the toad is among the largest specimens ever captured in Australia, according to Frogwatch coordinator Graeme Sawyer.

“It’s huge, to put it mildly,” he said. “The biggest toads are usually females but this one was a rampant male …I would hate to meet his big sister.”

No-us shit-us.

A toad like this would probably turn into Mike Tyson if you kissed it.

Further proof of why misleading fairy tales have done their share to fill the heads of generations of women with hopeful tomfoolery that often ends up in relationships with way unrealistic expectations. But that’s another story, black.

Imagine if our fugly owlet from my post on Monday

…met up with this big fugly toad

…and mated.

I guess you could call it…

A Towlet.


It could be worse.

Washington Post: Group finds toad the size of a small dog
Previously: The Lo Zone: You Shole Is Ugly.

7 thoughts on “I Wonder What Would Happen If You Kissed It?

  1. >that was too funny! I see the photoshop is good to someone. The mike pic was classic. Much better than the spliff/blunt attempt.I guess the Lo that I have heard so much about is back in the saddle.However if you think that bird is ugly, you may want to check out some of the creatures that live in the twilight zone(deep a$$ water)…it is amazing what you see on animal planet…that bird looks good compared to some of those fish…believe that!


  2. >You know how neurotic I am and how I am terrified of toads, right?I've already had to take a ton of anti-anxiety medication this morning because of this post. That Mike Tyson head on the fugly owlet is enough to make me start drinking–and it's only 9:30!


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