File This Under: ‘People Who Do Dumb Sh*t.’

A German woman’s plan to turn her dead father’s ashes into a diamond was thwarted Tuesday by her grandmother.

A district court in Wiesbaden ruled the 19-year-old could not take the cremated remains to Switzerland where a company creates synthetic diamonds from ashes.

“The daughter of the deceased could not provide sufficient proof that it was his final wish to be pressed into a diamond,” the court in western Germany said, ruling in favor of his 86-year-old mother.

I wonder if these were black Germans. This sounds like something black folks would do. Can’t you just see it now?

Shaquanna bares her teeth at NayNay, showing off her new diamond-studded grill…

NayNay: Girl, them shits is nice!!! Where you get ’em?

Shaquanna: I know, right? Ain’t they hot? That’s my Gramps!!!

What????? Did I offend you? So are you telling me you don’t know any black folks where this scenario would take place?

Mmm-hmm. That’s what I thought.*

*I know there’s folks of other cultures who do this too, but, um…


…guess who they’re emulating???

Reuters: Woman loses battle to turn dead dad into diamond