…was based on this excerpt:
It was deathly quiet, except for the occasional chirping by the crickets, and splashing of water, it was in fact the perfect place to commit a murder. They called him a punk. For as long as he could remember he always had to prove himself. Prove that he was better, tougher, stronger than the rest. Tests, challenges, were second nature to him. They should know that by now, but they knew nothing. They demanded a life with ill regard to the repercussions. He was smarter than the twelve of them put together, punk wannabees, leading each other by their own minute dicks, and they had the nerve to call him a punk. The thought of twelve of them strung together like sausages made him laugh. He struggled to pull her out of the water. Dead weight, weighed considerably more than the living, a fact that always puzzled him. She was little, tiny even, no more than a hundred pounds, and yet she felt like she had doubled in weight. His shoulders hurt and his wrists twisted in pain as he pulled her to the edge of the marsh, and dumped her near a pile of dead timber. She resembled a Black Raggedy Ann. Her clothes were in shreds, and her once beautiful hair, lay matted and tangled with bark and all sorts of things. He pulled a piece out of her hair and his heart jumped, even in death she still had the same eyes, still looked at him the same. It was a fearful stare of disbelief, of something gone wrong, a friend betrayed. He covered her face with a plastic grocery sack, no longer wanting to be reminded of her tearful pleas or the beauty that remained even in the face of death. She was beautiful, by far one of the prettiest girls on campus. He had thought so the very first time he saw her. She was nice too, a good girl, smart, kind and always smiling. He lingered over her, remembering her warmth, just hours ago. It was so easy, and perfect, yet he felt a tinge of regret because he would no longer be able to savor her sweet lips and that pissed him off more than anything. All is fair in love and war and right now he was at war. Every action, every plan had been put in place, to be executed and for sake of the one and only, Blood.
Really Good rocked the house on this piece with 182 votes, followed by 88 Excellents, and a smattering of Meh, it was okays with 25 votes. Nary a Really Shitty or bleeding eye was in the house.
That means congratulations are in order for Diane Dorce’…
…aka, Mizrepresent—frequenter of The Lo Zone and several other blogs run by fellow Lo Zoners. She also has a blog called Write for Life by Mizrepresent. Diane is an author and the CEO/Founder of FireFly Publishing.
…has been described as “a tale of corporate conspiracy, germ warfare, greed and human determination that readers will not be able to put down” by Romantic Times Book Reviews.
Well done. Well done.
Diane Dorce’ Online
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #4!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #3: The Results!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #3!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #2: The Results!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #2!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #1: The Results!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: Really Good Or Really Shitty!!! Part 1 (Or, WWM3MS…What Would My 3 Muses Say?)
12 thoughts on “Really Good Or Really Shitty, Excerpt #4: The Results!!!”
>Gon' Sistah D! I wanted to comment SSSOOOO Badly – but didn't want to give my vote away (i think i was the first)…I wanted to know what happened NEXT & now I know I can get your book & find out! Wow!
>Ditto, will definitely pick up the book. I am gonna go broke up in here LOL
>wowwwwww, impressive. you go gurl!!!shit, i'm already broke!hey juan, lemme borrow that book!
>That's what's up girl! I was loving that piece. The second time I read it, it was even better. Looks like you even slayed the literary snobs with this one. Keep up the good work.
>Awwww thank you guys…now that was nerve wracking, let me tell you. Thanks to Lo for providing me the opportunity to share, unfortunately that excerpt is not from the book, but one that i am currently working on…. book 2 in a series featuring my beloved detective…but hey if you want a taste of my writing, DMIST is a start, just don't blame me for those excessive typo mistakes made by the publisher, or the cover, or the back cover, cuz i had nothing to do with it. (lol) Thanks to all that commented earlier as well, Juan i loved the comment about "smell"…i will definitely revise and incorporate that sense. Thanks so much!
>hold up waitaminute! You mean thats who im working with? Excellent work, Miz.alllright now
>Lance, you know I got your back.
>Miz, you're welcome. I received a Masters in Writing from Johns Hopkins last May and while that doesn't qualify me to be a writer it has trained me to look for certain textures in a story; glad you found it useful. Thought to the group: Anyone interested in forming a writing group from on-line contacts. I am not technological savvy but I am sure there is a way to host "meetings" on line via live room chat, etc. Food for the thought for the creative type.HAPPY EASTER to all who observe.
>yo juan, i was just kiddin' about the broke part (well, kinda….lol)…but i was hopin' you'd comeback with that ol' school line:oh, no my brother…you gotta get your own!OLD SCHOOL RULES!!!!! LOL!!!!LOVE.PEACE.NAPPINESS <=== that's my title and don't try to steal it….lolyo rich, the feds are lookin' at ya boi!!!! (rcdflx) <=== for real!
>i want a signed copy my damn self all this back and forth chatting we have done D … wonder how much I can fetch for it on EBAY.. my hat goes off to ya !!!
>Good excerpt. I'm ready to find out what homeboy is about to do.
>Go 'head wit yo bad self Miz! Cant wait to pick up a copy. Excellent job!