>Holy Night Fuck, Batman!!!

>File this one under, “they’ve got a name and an excuse for damn near everything.

Like this:


Never heard of it? Me, neither. At least, not the term. The action, however, will probably seem familiar to some of you. This is an official explanation of this, um, disturbing (?!?!) condition:

The afflicted find themselves waking up in the middle of sexual activity. In benign forms the activity is harmless, such as masturbation when alone or in some sexual act with a bed partner. In extreme cases the behavior can be embarrassing or dangerous, such as the protracted shouting of sexual noises, engaging in violent masturbation (more common in men, who can awake with bruises), or in the worst cases sexual assault of a bed partner. Subjects are often more dominant in their behaviors than they are when doing the same things when awake. Subjects report complete amnesia of the events.

Men who yank their wanker in their sleep to the point of it being bruised???? Yikes!!! There’s gotta be some way to stop that from happening!!!

Oh. I guess there is. Anyway, here are two examples from two different couples who are, um, suffering (!!!) from this problem (?!?!?):

“I noticed your site on the internet off of a link from MSN.COM , me and my fiancee is experiencing a problem with sleep sex. Most nights that she falls asleep for a few hours she starts moaning and soon is masturbating and acting out sexual acts in her sleep. She has spoke to her dr and he doesnt seem to think anything serious about it she was put on an anti psychotic pill that only seemed to change the pattern for a couple weeks and then went back to her usual sleep sex. She discontinued the pill at this point. If you can offer any suggestions or help it would be greatly appreciated.”

“Me and my wife have been having a very difficult time since our marriage began four years ago. At night I become a very aggressive person in bed only to awake to a horrified wife that knows all to well what I have on my mind. It is only when she awakes that I do realize what is going on. I do have a very difficult time a night sleeping getting up every night. She has been so patient with me until recently the unwanted ness has become more aggressive. Our marriage is on the brink of divorce because of this obsession. She brought in an article that explains sleep sex! I read this and to my surprise I am astonished at what I was reading. I am looking a mirror image of what is happening to me. Is this just a stipulation or a convenience excuse with men with a sex obsession? If there is more information about sleep sex I would really like to know. I am in desperate need of answers to the question of what is going on.”

I guess this variation of sleepwalking (sleepfucking?) isn’t everybody’s cup of tea.

I don’t know, I personally don’t see the problem. A little midnight mauling can be great fun, IMHO, depending on who’s doing the mauling and how they maul. I mean, some things are just out of the question, no matter what time of the day or night.

But the good ol’ tap-n-wake can be fun, if done correctly, don’t you think? Not all the time. That would be annoying, impersonal, and way too rapey. But it’d be nice just to mix things up every now and then, yes?

Or not. Maybe it’s just me. I’ve always been a little bit odd.

Everything2.com: Sexsomnia

15 thoughts on “>Holy Night Fuck, Batman!!!

  1. >Well, I suppose this is the complete opposite of sleep apnea.From someone who has never had a wet dream (there I said it) but has certainly awakened at odd hours ret to go I can understand that some of this behavior is repressed. The wife in the first article might be just living out her fantasies that her husband can't fulfill.Philosophicaly I guess it's a problelm if during sleep sex one partner is trying to get the other partner to do an act they couldn't get them to do while awake — open wide, watch the teeth — then there is something else going on. However, the real problem is when one partner gets dressed and goes somewhere else for sleep sex. But wait, isn't that a booty call?


  2. >Does Pfzier know about this???Nobody is going to try to cure it…just make it more tolerable or pleasurable…I don't think its as bad as they are making it to be.Rich (our resident passa) is this a sin? are you still considered celibate if you are unconscious?? (i spelled that wrong)


  3. >LOL. It is funny and not funny. I would not want to be the spouse. He may come up with double the brusing from me fucking him up. LOL. SMH. I know cruel. I am just saying, in the beginning I would hit back if I did not know or understand. And to bother me while I am sleep, I will be a cranky biyatch.Sleepfucking, interesting. There are so many disorders out, I believe this is possible yet rare.


  4. >What will they come up with next….man some people have some strange issues…i have to admit, i don't like to hear the sound of a man lying next to me, doing himself…wtf…that's what i'm here for…in that case, somebody needs to jump ship!


  5. >damn this bloggin'….i'm gonna create me a website call fuckbuddy.com….yo' man/woman need some extra lubbin' and you're just too tired, just pull us up online and we'll service that need!!!!…why go thru hearing him/her make that self-centered fuckin' noise all thru the night, when you KNOW you got a big presentation in the morning?!!!!but wif fuckbuddy.com…or call 800.FUCK.HER (for da ladies) or 800.FUCK.HIM (for da guys) and within 15 mins, we'll have a nice horny toad match for your boo, just so you can get some damn sleep! …of course you know you're going to have to sleep upfront in the family room. they gotta fuck somewhere!awwww shit, foiled again! there's already a fuckbuddy.com. CURSES!!!!!!….lol (;-P


  6. >OH ME OH MY…LOL. that is amazingly funny (in a non-serious way)WOW… what gets me is that these things just seem to come out of NOWHERE. The would has existed for a GAZILLION years, but EVERY DAY… some 'NEW' medical marvel erupts… how about people are just nasty, and got all those demons in their sleep/head then they act it out/take it out on whoever they can…including them. HUM.. makes you wonder…WHAT'S NEXT?!?!?!


  7. >@Juan G: You made me laugh so hard, I sucked back a chunk of mango and almost choked!!!@Cort: "Chronic masturbator"? Next time I see you, how 'bout we not give each other dap.@justmewriting: ROFL at people just being "nasty"!!!@Rich: Maybe that's why she's your ex. LOL.@DC: Masturbation is never hilarious. Just ask the "chronic masturbator" above.


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