Dear Cheryl: 10 years ago I was in a long-term relationship.
I was desperately in love with Christopher and thought he felt the same. We talked many times about marriage.
After dating for five years, he abruptly dumped me. I was flabbergasted and vowed that if I ever felt strongly enough about a man to want to marry him, he had four years in which to propose. If not, I would break off the relationship.
For a long time, I dated many men who were fun but not marriage material, so I didn’t have to worry about this. However, I’m now dating Bryce, whom I really love. But I’m scared.
We’ve been together for 3-1/2 half years and are having the same type of marriage conversations that I had with Christopher.
Bryce says he loves me and wants a future with me, but it never goes beyond talk. He doesn’t know about my four-year rule.
Do I warn him now about what will happen in six months or just enjoy the relationship until then and then explain why I’m breaking up?
I detest ultimatums, and both options sound like one, but I’m in my early 30s and not getting any younger.
I love Bryce very much and the thought of breaking up tears me apart, but I feel quite strongly about the decision I made so long ago.
— I’ve Got a 48-Months-and-You’re-Out Rule
Have you ever waited too long for someone and felt like you weren’t valued or got left altogether after wasting a whole lot of time?
Just what gives in the relationship do-si-do when it comes to the question of marriage?