In the article, seven women discuss a well-heeled, physically average man on Manhattan’s social scene whom they all ended up becoming emotionally-entangled with on the way from or to relationships that really mattered:
“I was waiting for a table at Blue Ribbon,” [Jackie] said. “He walked up to me and started talking. He was instantly funny. I thought, ‘Omigod, we’re really clicking. But I’ll probably never hear from him again.’” Everyone nodded. After all, hadn’t we all been there before?
“He called at something like 8 the next morning,” Jackie said. “‘Want to go out to lunch?’ he asked. He asks you to lunch at Bilboquet the next day.”
“Then while you think he’s still funny and clever, he asks you to go away with him for the weekend,” said Jackie.
Ramona sighed. “[…] I had just broken up with someone and I was pretty upset. He was always there.”
A pattern emerged. “He’s rebound man,” Sarah said, definitively. “It’s like, ‘Excuse me, are you broken? Let’s get intimate.’”
“He’s the emotional Mayflower,” said Chloe. “He gets women from point A to point B. You arrive at Plymouth Rock feeling enormously better.”
His ability to empathize was a strong point. The phrase, “He’s just like a girl,” came up over and over again. “He reads more fashion magazines than most women,” said Sapphire, “and he’s much more willing to fight your battles than he is his own.”
“He’s extremely confident,” Chloe continued.
And then there’s the sex. “He’s awesome in bed,” said Sarah.
They always are.
…able to see the error of his/her asshole-ish ways. I know several former assholes who’ve become (seemingly) good husbands/wives. But how is that possible? Could it be they finally met someone with whom they strike the perfect chord, or is that much too unlikely?
Your background it ain’t squeaky clean, shit
Sometimes we all got to swim upstream</span
You ain’t no saint, we all are sinners
But you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner
Those are some profoundly powerful words that beg deeper insight. Can a sinner put his or her proverbial “good foot” down? I mean, seriously? Do these “relationship felons” (my term!!! I just coined it!!! me, me, me!!!) deserve a chance?
What say you to these things? Maybe the better questions are:
Can self-professed cocksmen and sportfuckers become one-woman men (or can a woman who likes a varied and wide assortment of, um, “pipe” settle for just one piece…forever)? Can a guy/girl who was once a flat-out asshole or someone who doesn’t even hide that he/she is only interested in getting sex with no further plans on being a fully-commited, loving partner (the signs are always there if you’re paying attention) ever evolve into what’s classified as a “good catch“?
…become someone else’s Mr. (or Ms.) Wonderfully Right?*
Conversely, have you ever shit on someone (on purpose, collaterally, or accidentally), and then gone on to subsequent faithful, loving, committed behavior with another (and did you feel any remorse or the need for penitence for prior bad behavior)? Or is the adage “Once a dog, always a dog” true? (Which would mean all dogs/assholes who are now married are still doggish assholes, either openly or in disguise.)
Do tell, people, do tell…
*And, if things didn’t go well with someone you were feeling, did it infuriate you to see him/her act right with someone who came right after you? If so, have you ever been tempted (or actually decided) to intervene?
**Also, if things ultimately go badly for your Mr. (or Ms. Wrong) and the one they really want things to work out with…
…do you find yourself experiencing an excessive amount of schadenfreude and redemption as a result of their demise?
***BTW, the blog The Bitter StickGirl is fuckin’ brilliant!!!