Hey, boys and girls, here’s a great way to keep those pesky upstanding citizens (or reformed “crum’nals“) from ratting you out to The Man.
That’s right, you can know let everybody know who’s out there snitching by snitching on them!!! At the website Who’s A Rat (new informant profiles added daily!!!), you can find out if that stoolie who sent your boy up the river was someone you know (or not), and you can warn others about that stoolie’s inclination to, er, stool.
Whatever the case, you can find said rats and, um, proceed accordingly. They’ve even got a message board with lovely little tidbits like this:
Isn’t that cute? Simply adorable!!! Funny thing, though…all this snitching on snitches has the Feds concerned:
[…] Federal prosecutors are furious, and the Justice Department has begun urging the federal courts to make fundamental changes in public access to electronic court files by removing all plea agreements from them — whether involving cooperating witnesses or not.
” We are witnessing the rise of a new cottage industry engaged in republishing court filings about cooperators on Web sites such as http://www.whosarat.com for the clear purpose of witness intimidation, retaliation and harassment,” a Justice Department official wrote in a December letter to the Judicial Conference of the United States, the administrative and policy-making body of the federal court system.
” The posting of sensitive witness information,” the letter continued, ” poses a grave risk of harm to cooperating witnesses and defendants.”
In one case described in the letter, a witness in Philadelphia was moved and the F.B.I. was asked to investigate after material from whosarat.com was mailed to his neighbors and posted on utility poles and cars in the area.
The federal court in Miami has provisionally adopted the department’s recommendation to remove plea agreements from electronic files, and other courts are considering it and experimenting with alternative approaches.
It gets even better, kiddies…
For those who want to read the details on cooperating witnesses, whosarat.com charges between $7.99 for a week and $89.99 for life. The latter option comes with a free “Stop Snitching” T-shirt.
Hey yo, that t-shirt’s hot. I’m running out to tell on some folks who told on some folks right now!!!*
*You know you know some snitches. Stop acting like you don’t.