Wrong On So Many Levels.

Of all the things I’ve seen regarding so-called “feel-good movies,” this one has to top them all.

This summer, Disney/Pixar has a movie coming out called…

In case you can’t read that small print in the blue oval, here it is again. The fact that they have to parenthetically add the pronunciation does not bode well, either.

Check out the description of the story’s hero…a RAT (!!!) named Remy:

That’s right, y’all…poor Remy just wants to cook and all. You know, use his special talents the way he believes they were meant to be utilized…

…making delectable dishes for people who really enjoy a good meal.

WTF?????????????????

First off, rats are NOT cute.

They can tear your house to pieces almost as bad as termites, and can carry over THIRTY different diseases, including the BUBONIC F*CKIN’ PLAGUE. Plus, they leave behind (literal) crap like this:

EWWWWW TO THE NTH POWER!!!

They do not, I repeat, DO NOT cook delectable dishes for anybody!!!

So what I want to know is, who pitched this shit? And how in the hell did the suits in the room reach the conclusion that it was a great idea for a movie? I’m guessing it was pitched by a homeless fellow (who’s now rich and laughing his ass off) on the upside of a meth high, who managed to finagle his way into a meeting, and it went a little something like this:

Homeless Fellow: So there’s this rat, right, yeah, this rat, this rat…and he wants to be a cook, yeah, a cook, ’cause he really loves to eat and is real good at cooking shi…uh, stuff…

Suit #1: Did you say…a RAT?

Homeless Fellow: Yeah, yeah, a rat, a rat!

Suit #2: But rats are filthy! Who would want to see a story about a cooking rat?

Homeless Fellow (getting nervous): But, uh, he’s not just some regular rat.

Suit #3: Not regular? Well, what kind is he?

Homeless Fellow: Uh…he’s French. Yeah, yeah, he’s French, and he loves French cooking, yeah, uh, and he’s really good with herbs and cream sauces, and he ends up working with this chef and the chef’s dishes become very popular with his patrons…

Suit #1 (rubbing his chin): Hmmm…alright, alright. So what’ll you call it?

Homeless Fellow (momentarily stumped): Uhhhhhhh, um, er, hmm…how about…’Ratsputin’? No, no, how about ‘Rat-a-tat’…

Suit #2:Ratatouille‘? Did you say ‘Ratatouille’?

Homeless Fellow: Yeah, yeah, I said that!! That’s it!! ‘Rat-a-tat’…that word.

The Suits look at each other. The Homeless Fellow’s about to piss himself.

Suits #1, #2, and #3: WE LOVE IT!!!

Homeless Fellow: Um…you do?

Suit #2: It’s fuckin’ brilliant.

Suit #3 (suddenly nervous): Have you gone anywhere else with this? You haven’t talked to anybody at DreamWorks have you?

Homeless Fellow: What’s DreamWorks?

Suit #1: Nevermind. We’ll give you high six [figures] against seven for it.

Homeless Fellow (sotto voce): Holy shiiiiiiiit.

He collapses in a heap on the floor, visions of meth heaven dancing in his head.

Ten-to-one the pitch for this movie happened just like that.

Only Disney (or DreamWorks) would try to take a story about shitty ass, disease laden vermin and make it into a magical tale about finding one’s destiny.

Look at the rat standing on the edge of that pot.

Are those parsley flakes in the soup or are those shitlets?

When your kids start bringing home nasty ass pet rats they’ve found in the streets because they want their very own Remy to love, well…I’m just saying, I won’t be surprised if rabies shots hit an all-time high this summer.

This isn’t the first time Disney’s peddled us a rodent

…but at least he was a mouse, not a rat. Rats take the filth factor to a whole ‘nother level.

Ratatouille, by the way, is a French vegetable stew, but I beg to differ.

I think Ratatouille is French for BULLSHIT.”

Just in case you’re still thinking rats are fun to have around, check out this little video from an incident at a NYC KFC/Taco Bell earlier this year. This is what it really looks like when you have rats in the kitchen. Enjoy!!!

[youtube.com=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su0U37w2tws]

Ratatouille: The Movie

14 thoughts on “Wrong On So Many Levels.

  1. >ROFLMBAO @:I'm guessing it was pitched by a homeless fellow (who's now rich and laughing his ass off) on the upside of a meth high, who managed to finagle his way into a meeting, and it went a little something like this*:HILARIOUS!

    Like

  2. >That they have to phonetically sound the word is quite telling, don't you think? Why aren't we teaching our children more than one language in this country? When I went to Ethiopia, many of the teens I met usually spoke at least three languages. My ex, who was Ethiopian, spoke Amharic, English and Italian.

    Like

  3. >you were making a great argument well before the video. Did you have to do that? I was repulsed enough.I will look at every taco bell/kfc cock-eyed now.Thanks!…now a customer may be thinking they are making a "run for the border"…when they need to be making a run for the damn door. LOL

    Like

  4. >anybody think of "willard" when they saw this video other than me? I wonder which one was ben?…LOL He probably was sitting up on the counter watching and waiting big bright red eyes.*wait—im scaring myself*

    Like

  5. >I was THINKING that this movie has GOT to be KIDDIN' – after the whole NYC KFC/TB fiasco – or should i say – rat-fiesta!! Yea, this may be a feel good flick in the 'burbs – but if anyone here in NYC goes to see it…but then, we do have plenty of crazies so…LOL!bon appetit!

    Like

  6. >They're not going to be picking "street rats", but ones from the pet store. And even then, from the reviews I've read, most of the mare positive on the movie. Who gives a crap if it's about a rat? It's just a freaking cartoon. Were you so offended about "A Bug's Life" (icky bugs) and Shrek (ugly, scrary orge)?BTW, rats make fantastic pets so screw you.

    Like

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