Of all the things I’ve seen regarding so-called “feel-good movies,” this one has to top them all.
In case you can’t read that small print in the blue oval, here it is again. The fact that they have to parenthetically add the pronunciation does not bode well, either.
Check out the description of the story’s hero…a RAT (!!!) named Remy:
That’s right, y’all…poor Remy just wants to cook and all. You know, use his special talents the way he believes they were meant to be utilized…
…making delectable dishes for people who really enjoy a good meal.
They can tear your house to pieces almost as bad as termites, and can carry over THIRTY different diseases, including the BUBONIC F*CKIN’ PLAGUE. Plus, they leave behind (literal) crap like this:
EWWWWW TO THE NTH POWER!!!
Homeless Fellow: So there’s this rat, right, yeah, this rat, this rat…and he wants to be a cook, yeah, a cook, ’cause he really loves to eat and is real good at cooking shi…uh, stuff…
Suit #1: Did you say…a RAT?
Homeless Fellow: Yeah, yeah, a rat, a rat!
Suit #2: But rats are filthy! Who would want to see a story about a cooking rat?
Homeless Fellow (getting nervous): But, uh, he’s not just some regular rat.
Suit #3: Not regular? Well, what kind is he?
Homeless Fellow: Uh…he’s French. Yeah, yeah, he’s French, and he loves French cooking, yeah, uh, and he’s really good with herbs and cream sauces, and he ends up working with this chef and the chef’s dishes become very popular with his patrons…
Suit #1 (rubbing his chin): Hmmm…alright, alright. So what’ll you call it?
Homeless Fellow (momentarily stumped): Uhhhhhhh, um, er, hmm…how about…’Ratsputin’? No, no, how about ‘Rat-a-tat’…
Suit #2: ‘Ratatouille‘? Did you say ‘Ratatouille’?
Homeless Fellow: Yeah, yeah, I said that!! That’s it!! ‘Rat-a-tat’…that word.
The Suits look at each other. The Homeless Fellow’s about to piss himself.
Suits #1, #2, and #3: WE LOVE IT!!!
Homeless Fellow: Um…you do?
Suit #2: It’s fuckin’ brilliant.
Suit #3 (suddenly nervous): Have you gone anywhere else with this? You haven’t talked to anybody at DreamWorks have you?
Homeless Fellow: What’s DreamWorks?
Suit #1: Nevermind. We’ll give you high six [figures] against seven for it.
Homeless Fellow (sotto voce): Holy shiiiiiiiit.
He collapses in a heap on the floor, visions of meth heaven dancing in his head.
Ten-to-one the pitch for this movie happened just like that.
Are those parsley flakes in the soup or are those shitlets?
…but at least he was a mouse, not a rat. Rats take the filth factor to a whole ‘nother level.
I think Ratatouille is French for “BULLSHIT.”