I’ll Take "The Rapist" For Five Pounds, Alex!!!

As regular readers of my brother’s blog and my man’s site know by now, we have a new puppy, Celebrity’s “Lucky” Luciano, a gorgeous Cane Corso of excellent stock and breeding from my brother’s celebrated kennel.

Cute, ain’t he?

But did either of them mention that this little charmer is…A RAPIST?!?!?!*

That’s right. He’s been “HUNCHING” me. And I mean “HUNCHING,” not “Humping.” “Humping” is cute. “HUNCHING” is what the nasty little boys in grade school who skip class, taunt you in the halls, and sit at the back of the bus do to frightened-but-good little schoolgirls when they corner you in the library stacks or you don’t run away fast enough after you get off the bus and they happen to pin you down…

*Sorry…whew!…just had a flashback from fifth grade*

Anyway, this little beast is “HUNCHING” me on the regular. When he first climbed on top of my foot and did it, I thought, “Oh, how cute. Look at that! He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing!” Then he straddled my thigh (because it had more meat on it and he could get a better grip) and did a full-blown, fast pump HUNCH. I was horrified and quickly pulled him off. But noooooooo…he mounted my thigh again and got his HUNCH on some more. I screamed out for the Mister and we both simultaneously said the same thing…

Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree!!! I should have seen this one coming, right?

The least he could do is not hunch me when I’m sick. Damn. Give a sistah a break.**

*That makes two rapists in the house, since we already know my other boy dog, Milo, has some issues in that department.

**On an up note, Lucky’s gonna make one helluva stud dog!!!

Celebrity Cane Corso Kennels
I Am Inspired: And Then There Were 5…
The World According To Cortney Gee: Happiness Is A Warm Puppy!!!
Previously: The Lo Zone: I’ll Take “The Rapists” For $200, Alex!!!

14 thoughts on “I’ll Take "The Rapist" For Five Pounds, Alex!!!

  1. >This dog looks too tiny to be hunching anything. I guess it proves that sex drive is ingrained unless he's witnessed a whole lot of f-cking in his very young years and wants in on his share of some now.

    Like

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