As a person in a perpetual love-hate relationship with cellphones (“I’m a techie!!! That new gadget is pretty!!!” then “People keep calling me!!! I’m getting rid of this phone!!!), I was late to the whole text messaging game. I got on board in late ’06 and thought it was the best thing ever (“I can talk to people without having to TALK to people!!!”), but eventually I realized that it can be artificial device for establishing what might seem like a real bond when it’s really just a tool for some people to hide behind. When used as a substitute for the early stages of dating, all kinds of deceptions can occur. People make empty promises and lie about everything from sexual prowess to how (and if) they make a living. Why? Because they can!!! Just like with a computer, they can make you believe they’re something they’re not, as long as you’re not in front of them to verify things. That sucks, although it can be really exciting when you’re in the midst of it. Still sucks, though, because, sooner or later, they have to step out from behind their cellphones and you get to see who they really are (or aren’t).
I found texting to be an excellent tool for sending quick messages regarding business and to people I already have real relationships with, but as a way of getting to know a person, finding out who they are, and possibly building a bond—very, very bad. Nothing can or should ever replace true human interaction, especially when two people are just getting to know each other.
Unfortunately, however, that’s the time we live in. This is the era of the bait and switch, where even losers, armed with deceit and hiding behind a cellphone, can have their moment in the sack and the sun. Sadly, many a woman (and man) has fallen for this trick, led on in excitement by a string of increasingly alluring texts only to be disappointed in the end. Fortunately, however, there’s a funny little video that I saw over on Gawker last Friday that captures this whole ridiculous process in a nutshell. Odds are you’ll see yourself in this cute little clip or—ye gads!!!—your relationship and how it started and maybe ended. Gaze on in wonder/horror at how dating in the age of lying-meets-lazy technology unfolds. Happy Cinco de Maio!!! Oh, and if you get drunk today and meet “The One,” text with caution.